The Motivation For Me....

is them tellin me, what I could not be, OH WELL! Thank you for those words Pharrell, I listen to them every day! So Ambitious is my FAVORITE song on BP3, it's so easy to relate to.

I definitely need to make some better music, and I know I can but I don't really have the resources. My budget don't exist, I'm still paying on my last recording session, and people won't work on my shit like they're supposed to. I can't buy beats and no one is sending me none right now, so I been making them. I got some heat, but I don't have the "it" factor to produce beats as dope as the ones I get from better producers.

All I've wanted to do since I was a kid is rap! I stayed in my house missing plenty of parties and social gatherings so I could work on tracks, which is what I've always preferred to do anyways. I LOVE music! All I want to do is get to the position where I can provide for my kids and my family by waking up every day doing music.

"I pop my demo tape in, start to beat my head..."
You know another thing, when I watch footage of rappers in the studio, and they always play their shit for their homies or whatever, and every one is SO hype. They're all like "Fuck YEAH", and all that shit, or whatever they say about the track. But when I play my shit in the studio or somethin, I always feel like no one is payin attention to what I'm saying. And no one ever says shit, like "Dope" or even "Not Dope", it's like damn.... either you just aint into my shit or I aint spitting, but honestly I think I'm ILL on the mic, maybe I'm just to honest and I should rap about more dumb shit and people will be like "uggggghhhhh he said his range rover is the same color as lean!!" but I promise out of respect for myself I will never sell out. I told myself I would get there by being true to myself, and that's what I plan on doing...

I just love music so much, it's insane. I wish I could make music with my favorite artists, or be in their position so people would be submitting me insane tracks and shit that I can just murder cus that's would I would do. I been born and raised in St. Joseph, MO though. You don't even want to know what kinda reception Hip Hop music gets here. I performed last night for 10 people, including the people working at the bar I was at. That's just how it happens sometimes, no matter how hard you try people still don't give a fuck. I want to get out of here so bad, cus there's absolutely NO opportunity here, but I don't have a good situation or a rich relative or any $ to get out of here. And it's killing my hope... but FUCK THAT! I aint ever going to stop my dream. I thought my feature on djbooth.net would do a lot for me too, and it did, don't get me wrong. I thought it would do more for me though, that maybe some one would recognize me, give me some credit, or some one would hit me up for a verse or somethin, but it didn't happen. I did get enough support to reach #10 on the Independent Chart, but now I can't get another feature. Djbooth LOVED FRESH, which is dope as fuck to me cus I LOVE that song too. Seven made a DOPE beat on that, but I can't afford no more shit from Seven. I can't even afford my electricity bill at the crib. I'd love to do more shit with Seven, but Seven has shit going on. He produces for his homies, and he's got people buying beats, so what does he need me for? He fucks with people that are makin moves, and to be honest I aint doin shit. I'm trying my hardest, and I feel like I'm making DOPE ILL shit, but I aint doing nothin. I work on music every day and every night, but I been out on my own doing it lately. What else am I supposed to do? Hit Seven up and bug him for free shit? I can't do that... I'm not a freeloader and it wouldn't be right, he's not worried about me, he's got bigger shit on his plate. Rob '05 been making me that DOPE shit though. Beretta B made me some dope ass beats too, and Ivan, and me and DJ Krunk made some dope shit together. Djbooth give me another chance please! No I can't ask for that, I just need to make some newer shit that is so ILL it can't be denied. Guess I'm back to the drawing board then. I just don't ever want my drive to slow down, because I WORK WORK WORK and WORK on my shit.

I jus don't understand how the fuck people get on? What am I supposed to do, cus I've been trying for years. I feel like I'm more ready now then I've ever been, but I can't get people to pay attention. It seems like I always have a plan, and I always put my plan in action, and it always seems to "almost work". Almost aint doing shit for me though. I got 2 kids to feed, I got family. I got shit to do. I aint in the position to do the shit I need to, but I'm tryin. It's not like there's any labels around here, or managers, or booking agents, or ANYTHING. By the way, my car just broke down. I can't even move around here. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I need a different game plan, and I'm gettin desperate. I've had my back against the wall a long time, so it's something I'm used to, but I'm getting tired.

Ring the bell, it's time for the championship round. Let's see what I do, cus I'm comin out swinging.